On the couch
by BMIK
Summary: Our dear FFVII characters are forced into therapy to cure their various complexes, neurosis and traumata. Last Session: Cid m a friggin addict Highwind.
1. Prologue

**Hey there! Welcome to this fic 'On the couch'. I have no idea if something like that has been done before, but I found the idea of the FFVII characters in therapy somewhat amusing, so I thought I give it a try^^ Though I do study psychology this will not be serious of course, it´s just for fun!** **;)**

**So each chapter will be another character, if you want to you can make suggestions and I will keep them in mind. There is no fixed order in which characters appear, so I will take requests as well.**

**Many thanks to PfenixB for the awesome betaing!!!  
**

**Have fun^^**

* * *

**Prologue: On the couch  
**

Somewhere in a luxurious ShinRa building, there is an apartment. Actually, it is not an apartment, it is a psychologist´s office, but it does look a lot like an apartment, with cozy chairs and light colours, much glass and small tables- everything to make the visitor feel comfortable. If one comes in, one is greeted by a nice lady in her mid 40s, wearing a pink chemise and a soft smile, her blond hair curled up. One could read her name on the sign pinned over her chest, but then one would forget it within the next moment anyway.

The counter is made of light wood, and there is a palm tree in a pot standing next to it. The carpeting is a light grey, and the light yellow walls are decorated with abstract paintings depicting lines and triangles.

There are some chairs for the visitors to sit and wait until they are called into the therapist´s office. That room is dominated by a desk and a sofa. There is a high chair for the psychologist to sit in and make his notes. Between them, a small table sits, to hold a cup or whatever it is the table is needed for. High shelves flank one side of the room, but they are usually ignored.

The door to the therapist´s office opens, and a man enters, with a huge white beard, keen, small eyes, and a calm air around him. He wears a brown coat over his black suit and a hat on his bald head. Bending down and setting his leather bag aside, he takes his hat off and puts it on the cloak stand, then he frees himself from the heavy jacket and straightens his suit before he walks up to the counter.

"Good morning, Doctor Reud,** " **the lady at the counter smiles, receiving a slight nod. The doctor looks through the mail she has laid out for him, and she informs him in her benign, soft voice "I made coffee and put it on your desk."

"Thank you, Martha," Doctor F. Reud murmurs distractedly ina pleasant, low voice, then he gathers the envelopes in his hand and prepares to go into his office. It is his first day working here, he actually had retired already, but the pleading and promise to get to see some extraordinary cases here made him rethink his decision.

Falling into his leather chair behind the desk, the doctor sets the bag aside and throws the mail on the table, leaning back and enjoying a sip of his coffee. Two spoonfuls of milk, no sugar, just as he likes it.

Now, this seems like the beginning of a good day, the doctor thinks, taking another sip and then asking through the intercom, "Who is our first client today, Martha?"

There is some crackling, and the movement of papers can be heard, and then the light voice of the lovely woman is heard, saying, "A General Sephiroth will be here at 9:00 am, doctor."

"Thank you," doctor F. Reud says, humming a little, because he thinks he has heard the name before. Then he gives a light shrug and puts his cup aside to go through his mail again.

Little does he know that the relaxed atmosphere is just a deceitful, vicious illusion that is bound to break under the madness that is soon to infiltrate his quarters and turn everything upside down.

This is just the calm before the storm

TBC

* * *

**Short introduction of the surroundings, it needed to be done. First I thought about having one of the FFVII characters themselves playing the therapist (immediately Vincent came to mind...dunno why^^), but then I couldn´t spare anyone. So Mister F. Reud came to be.**

**Next chapter: General 'I-do-NOT-have-an-oedipus-complex!' Sephiroth.**

**Review please?**


	2. Sephiroth

**Aaaaaaaaaalright: First I´ll give you a proper disclaimer: Don´t own. Right, second: Thanks to PfenixB for the awesome betaing!**

**Third: Enjoy!**

* * *

OTC: Sephiroth

Doctor F. Reud was just done with his mail and was thinking about having another cup of his decaffeinated coffee when the intercom crackled again, and the receptionist informed him in a friendly singsong voice, "Doctor, General Sephiroth is here."

The doctor leaned forward, pushed the button and answered calmly "Thank you, Martha."

Then he stood from his chair and went to the door to welcome his first client. Upon entering the waiting room he was slightly stunned to find a young man standing at the desk, looking at a pocket watch that he snapped shut when he noticed the doctor, remarking frostily, "Well, at least you are punctual."

The watch vanished in his leather coat and he briefly shook the hand that was held out towards him, giving a curt nod at the greeting.

"General Sephiroth, it is a pleasure to meet you. Please, follow me," Doctor Reud said and made an inviting gesture towards his office. He closed the door behind them and motioned for the General to take a seat. "Can I offer you something to drink?"

"No. I have no intention on dragging this on longer than is absolutely necessary," Sephiroth answered tightly, setting the black bag he had with him aside and taking his seat on the comfortable leather couch.

"Very well." The psychologist sat down opposite him, reaching for the clipboard and the pen that lay on the table and crossing his legs.

"Well then, would you mind telling me why you are here?" he asked, looking at the young man with professional curiosity.

"To be frank, I have no idea why I would be sent into therapy," Sephiroth answered, his fingers impatiently tabbing against the armrest, adding in a slightly unnerved tone, "I am not crazy."

"Of course," Doctor F. Reud said in a soothing manner, the clipboard resting on his knees. "No one assumed that. Most of my clients are not. You might want to see these sessions as a chance to share your worries and thoughts with me, to reflect on them. We are here to discuss them, nothing more."

Sephiroth lifted an elegant brow at that, looking rather sceptical and far from enthusiastic, but then he leaned back. "I take it that everything I say here will be kept strictly confidential?"

"Certainly," the therapist assured with a slight nod and friendly eyes. It wasn´t unusual that he was met with suspicion; most people thought that being in therapy somehow implied that they were, well, crazy. As far as he could tell from his first impression this young man seemed a little stiff and maybe stressed, but otherwise he appeared conscionable and earnest **. **It was unusual to see a person his age being so highly decorated already, and Doctor F. Reud assumed that he had been sent here by his superiours because of stress syntoms or something alike.

"Very well then," the silver haired man answered calmly, briefly rubbing his temple and closing his eyes. Then he opened them again and his sharp gaze fell on the elder again.

"Just one more thing before we start."

Doctor F. Reud gave a nod, telling his client to go ahead and resting his pen against the white, blank paper.

"If you even _mention_ the term 'Oedipus complex'**l**I will cut you up in neat little pieces and feed them to your wife or daughter or whatever relatives it is you have remaining left. Do not even _think_ it."

After a moment of silence the therapist gathered his jaw from the carpet and blinked, watching the man and his calm expression in front of him with a bad feeling in his guts. Then he cleared his throat, and asked carefully "What would make you think I would think that you have an…" he cleared his throat again "…that?"

"Oh, I don´t know," Sephiroth replied with a blank face, his voice heavy with sarcasm, "but everyone else seems to think I have it."

"I see," the therapist murmured, scribbling something on his paper.

"Which annoys me, to say the least," the General continued with a dark look and dangerously flaring eyes. "Apart from the fact that it is an inexcusable insult to refer to Mother in terms of a mental disorder, I never have and never will be having a physical relationship the way Oedipus had with his mother!"

Doctor F. Reud looked up again, a bit wary at the now clearly agitated man, asking softly "You mean… sexual intercourse?"

Sephiroth paled a bit, growling, "Exactly."

"I see," the psychologist muttered again and scribbled.

"Even the assumption makes me sick," the silver haired man continued through gritted teeth, "and I believe it says more about the twisted minds that can think up such monstrosities than it says about my mental state."

He abruptly stood from the sofa and started to pace the room, one hand gesturing through the air. Although he was angry, his voice and movements were still calm and controlled, his emotional exhibition restricted by years-long training and discipline.

"Just how dare they spread such ridiculous, untruthful rumors about Mother and I?! This is not merely a peccadillo anymore, this is the worst, despicable crime of all and I should just strangle them with their own guts!" He made a fist and his face contorted into something very homicidal, making the therapist shift deeper into his chair.

"Or maybe I should cleanse their dirty traps with sulfuric acid, burn their teeth away and ripping their jaws right out of their ugly faces…"

The General paused, coming to a halt and then shook his head, giving a light chuckle. Crossing his hands behind his back, he turned to face his therapist –who still managed to sport a relatively neutral, interested expression- and said with a faint smile,

"But then it is not worth the effort anyway. It is envy speaking out of them, after all."

"What makes you think so?" Doctor F. Reud asked politely, forcing his itching hand not to scrape down the offending words of 'Oedipus complex' onto the paper.

"Well," Sephiroth said, slowly walking back to the sofa and sitting down with his ankles crossed. At least he seemed somewhat relaxed now. "In a way it is even understandable. Mother chose _me _to become a god and conquer the universe to find the Promised Land and create a better world. Of course that includes cleansing this planet of the detestable scum that is crawling the surface and calling Mother a complex."

"…I see," the therapist murmured, glancing at the desk drawer where his bourbon was hidden and inconspicuously writing a tiny 'god complex' next to the even tinier words 'egomaniac', 'sophomoric', 'delusional' and 'Oedipus complex'. He wouldn´t want this nutjob to accidently read his notes and turn him inside out…

"I admit that Mother and I share a bond that far exceeds the normal relationship between mother and son, but I do not see what would be wrong with that." He shot the doctor a questioning look, getting a neutral movement of the head that could have meant anything and nothing, but apparently it satisfied the General.

Silence filled the room for a moment and the therapist shifted a little in his seat, just about to ask another question, when Sephiroth´s thoughtful face lit up with a conspiratorial expression Doctor F. Reud absolutely disliked.

"Do you want to see her?"

"Your mother?"

"Of course Mother," Sephiroth snapped back, making the psychologist jump a little. The General´s sudden mood swings were starting to wear at his nerves. "There is no room for another woman in my life, as if I would waste my time on something as trivial as that!"

"I see," was the therapist´s fathomless reply, and the tiny words got a new companion, namely ´sexually underutilized´. "If you want me to, I´d love to see a photograph of your mother."

Sephiroth, meanwhile, wasn´t even listening because he was already rummaging in the bag he had brought with him, informing the doctor from below, "You will like her; she is a wonderful woman. I owe her so much. She made me what I am today."

He briefly looked up through his long silvery bangs, his hands still in the bag, and breathed with feverish eyes, "Imagine, she travelled thousands of years through the universe to find me and gift me with her power. Of course some people take this fact to badmouth her and call her an alien, or even worse: the calamity from the sky." His expression turned morose again and the doctor thought he heard him mutter something about burning eyeballs and twisted extremities.

Then Sephiroth abruptly focused his attention back on his search and finally he extracted something out of the bag and sat it on his lap with a thin smile.

"Dear doctor, this is my mother. Mother, this is Doctor Reud. He is my new, albeit unnecessary, psychologist."

This time it took Doctor F. Reud good five minutes to shut his mouth and shrink his eyes back from saucer-size to something healthy. But who could blame him? It wasn´t everyday that some psycho walked into his office and summoned a chopped off head out of a bag, calling it 'Mother' and affectionately stroking its rotting head.

"Mother says it is a pleasure to meet you," Sephiroth said with an earnest, calm face and sneakily adjusted the head to his knees, just as if he wanted to avoid underpinning any rumors that he and this… _head _had anything that strayed from platonic.

"…Eh…I-it…" the therapist slowly fumbled his glasses out of his breast pocket and held them before his eyes. He blinked to make sure that he hadn´t fallen victim to a spontaneous illusion. "…The pleasure´s all mine."

He quickly shoved the glasses back into the pocket, not wanting to see any more of this than was absolutely necessary.

"Am I not the spitting image of her?" Sephiroth asked, his loving gaze trailing down the head´s rotten, vermiculated, stinking face and letting a gloved finger softly stroke over its shrunken cheek. He didn´t wait for the therapist to answer but continued in his hymn of praise for the severed, rotting head.

"She is such a strong and wonderful woman, you cannot imagine. She always lends me her ear when I have trouble. I remember that time when my plan to summon Meteor to destroy the planet and become a god unfortunately did not unfold like we had anticipated. But she did not turn away from me, on the contrary. It was because of her encouragement, of her belief in me that we rose to power and might again…" He suddenly paused, looking awkwardly at the psychologist, the enthusiasm in his eyes somewhat dimming. Then he guided a fist to his mouth and gave a restrained cough. "But of course we can enjoy more trivial diversions as well, it is not all about slaughtering and conquering and destroying…"

He waved his hand in a circle and lifted a brow to strengthen his statement, determined to convince the therapist that he wasn´t crazy. Leaning back again the General watched the head and petted its hairy back, saying in a harmless tone, almost cheerful tone, "From time to time we like to watch movies. 'Psycho' is our favorite, by the way."

"Who would have thought," Doctor F. Reud said blank faced, mechanically writing 'necrophilia' down on his paper.

"But now where was I?" Sephiroth continued, unimpressed by the interruption, gracefully tilting his head and looking thoughtful, "Oh yes, about Mother and-" He suddenly paused, narrowing his eyes.

"What? No Mother, I did not inform him about our new plans to conquer the- Well no, but even if I did, everything will be kept confidential…- I am not sure but I do not believe that the doctor will agree to participate in your new, ingenious plans…" He threw the petrified psychologist a scrutinizing, cold look that bordered on pathological jealousy and the man hurried to wave his hands in denial.

"See?" the General said into the head´s direction, adding in a remarkably softer, though slightly sardonic way, "And please keep in mind what came out of it the last time we involved someone else. Those useless remnants of mine are still running wild somewhere…"

"Very well, I am afraid our time is up now," the doctor suddenly interrupted the silver haired man´s 'dialogue' with the head, shooting up from his chair and trying to sound not too relieved.

"Oh." Sephiroth stopped fondling the head –absently shaking some hair on the carpet that had come out of the rotten flesh and stuck with its bloody ends to his hand now. He looked almost disappointed for a split second, but then he just nodded and carefully stuffed the head back in the bag.

He closed the zipper and stood as well, back straight and gaze unflinching, switching back to the perfect image of an honourable soldier. The crazy had completely vanished from his eyes, masked by a neutral expression and he was just as rigid and stern as he had been at the beginning of their session.

"I thank you for your time. I must say I am pleasantly surprised." Sephiroth held his hand out towards the poor Doctor F. Reud, who glanced at the hairy substance that hadn´t managed to fall on his expensive carpet.

He didn´t dare to refuse the gesture either, however, so he quickly gave the man a lax handshake.

"I think I will come and visit you again, doctor," the silver haired man informed his therapist, curt but not unfriendly.

"…Great," the doctor answered, licking his lips, and after another uncomfortable glance at the ominous bag he carefully suggested, "I´d suggest you leave your mother in the closet- I mean, wherever she feels comfortable the next time. This is not meant as a group therapy and I would like to focus solely on you..."

"I understand that," General Sephiroth agreed with an almost ridiculously serious expression. "I will come alone then. Have a nice day." Then he leaned over to his bag, briefly petting it with a lovely gaze and a small smile. "Let´s go Mother; the day is long and our plans are excessive."

And with that, he turned around with an elegant movement and was out of the room, leaving the sweating doctor heavily falling back in his chair.

TBC

* * *

**This surely isn´t the last we´ve seen of the General, he´s a walking complex... But for introduction this will be enough :)**

**Oreramar:** Haha, no, Dr. F. Reud mostly only shares the name with the real deal... Even though it might seem differently in the first chapter he´s rather open minded for new theories, otherwise it´d quickly getting boring :) Thanks for reviewing, I hope I won´t dissappoint!

**Aeriths-Rain:** Thank you, I hope you like it! And hopefully it´ll turn out good^^

**sareyva:** He certainly won´t ever be out of work... As soon as the idea popped up in my head immediately many many complexes and neurosis for each and every character were sent my way XD I hope Dr. F. Reud will manage... Thanks for reviewing!

**Review please?**

**(Edit:** I don´t know if you are aware of the antic myth of Oedipus, but here it is in case you don´t know: A king once got told by an oracle that his son would marry his mother and kill the king. The king was appalled and as soon as his son was born he sent him away. The boy, Oedipus, lived with foster parents without knowing that he was adopted. One day, when he was older, he came back to the kingdom of his real parents (without knowing that they were his real parents) and accidently fell in love with the queen, his mother. So he killed the king and married her. )**  
**


	3. Genesis Rhapsodos

**Hey there! Welcome to the second session and this time it´s Genesis Rhapsodos. Before we start I just quickly want to point out to those who didn´t know that Genesis was voiced and modelled after the japansese actor and singer Gackt. You might want ot keep that in mind ;)**

**Many, many thanks to my fabulous beta PfenixB!**

**Now: Enjoy the madness!**

* * *

OTC: Genesis Rhapsodos

"I'll be right back," Doctor F. Reud briefly informed his desk girl, who smiled an unshakeable smile at him, and then he finally took refuge in his restroom. If only for 5 minutes, he could escape the madness… After he had dragged on the pause as long as he could, repeatedly washing his face and hands, shaking his head and needing another splash to his face, he finally emerged and reluctantly wandered back to his office. A quick, nervous and almost frightened look at the clock made him realize two things: first off, he had taken 20 minutes longer than originally intended and second: the room was empty. Maybe the client had left, since Doctor F. Reud hadn´t shown up? No annoying, whining, borderline disordered madman was occupying his couch and the doctor straightened with relieve and new hopes-

Just that second, the door burst open, making the therapist flinch and turn around to face the intruder.

In the doorway stood a tall person, one hand on the handle, the other by the side of his long, pink coat. Blinded by the large, fancy earring that accidently caught the light shining through the window, the doctor had to lower his eyes and came to notice that his guest held a book in hand (gloved in the same colour as his coat).

Before the therapist could say anything, the young man lowered his head a little, gracing doctor F. Reud with a pointed, meaningful glare (though the therapist did not yet get the meaning at all).

_"My soul, corrupted by vengeance, hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey, in my own salvation and your eternal slumber," _he announced out of the blue in a hushed, tight voice that still carried a somewhat pompous edge through the room, and then, soundly closing the door behind him, he walked over to the couch with determined, long strides.

Finally having found back his equilibrium, the doctor hurried to unnecessarily motion at the sofa where the client had already taken place. Then he forced his stress back and with a relatively calm expression, sat down and reached for his clipboard again.

The pen resting in his hand, the doctor was about to look up and pleasantly ask if the guest wanted something to drink, but before he could open his mouth even halfway, the client (who meanwhile had stopped rearranging his coat and had crossed his legs) exclaimed, "I am here because I am not gay."

He lifted his chin in a bit of a challenging manner.

"I see," the therapist nodded, his eyes briefly flickering to the pink coat and the elaborate earring dangling from the man´s right ear. The guy´s orange hair and poem book didn´t do much to underpin his statement, but luckily Doctor F. Reud wasn´t a person to be deceived by such superficial trades. "But would you be so kind as to tell me who you are?"

"Genesis Rhapsodos," was the slightly haughty reply. The therapist blinked at the man for a moment, but then he wrote on his clipboard with a perfectly neutral expression and invited, "Please, tell me more about that."

Genesis stared at him from above for another moment. He slowly reached over and with long fingers caught an apple from the basket of wax fruits that was standing there for decoration. Leaning back, he held the apple imitation before his eyes and glared at it in utter concentration.

Then he abruptly lowered the fake fruit and stared at the therapist with narrowed eyes, declaring in an important tone, "Oh I certainly will."

And then he 'explained', flicking his book open without looking at it and making sheep´s eyes at the poor wax apple again,

"_Legend shall speak  
Of sacrifice at world's end"_

"A-ha…" made the therapist, pen resting against the still mostly blank paper. "Could you…maybe elaborate that a bit?"

Genesis Rhapsodos shut his poem collection with a dramatic snap and an unnerved look at the psychologist, but then he leaned back, his elbows on the couch´s backrest, and waved the hand still holding the apple,

"I love women. Well developed women, I may add. But recently I got accused of the most despicable crime against nature. I was accused of being gay! Now, you do not need to worry, your role in this travesty will be kept to a minimum, since I already informed myself. I read every psychology book I could find and I am proud to be able to announce without a doubt that these accusations are completely unfounded. I am not gay and I am here to make you officially confirm that."

Again, before the doctor could open his mouth and say something, Mr. Rhapsodos was already busy with his rant.

"Now you may wonder how an obviously heterosexual guy like me," he angled his hand and pointed at himself, eyebrow arched "could be mistaken for a homosexual, but I can tell you from my own painful experiences: it does happen."

He let his hand drop and with a displeased, disgusted expression, explained, "Of course they would not accuse me of being a homosexual openly. Those foolish recruits and worthless colleagues of mine are far too frightened of getting penetrated by my gigantic sword to dare face me head on."

He gave a derisive snort at that, blissfully oblivious to his ambiguous choice of language and continued, "Since I am apparently and most certainly utterly fixated on women where my sexuality is concerned I was not aware of the possibility of such rumors being spread. You see, the hot topics in the group I´m usually with during my coffee break normally revolve around suspicions concerning a certain General and his relationship towards his Mother, or the new interpretation of some over-promoted country stage director butchering ´Loveless´… But anyway, last week I was a bit earlier, because the guy who does my weekly manicure got struck with a spontaneous case of syphilis and I get to the coffee kitchen and what must I hear? Those bitches are snickering about how they believe I was as queer as a football bat!"

He looked positively scandalized, his earring angrily sparkling. "Now I am sure you can imagine my indignation and I was very tempted to bitch slap that bloody faggot right in the face and put him back into his place. I did no such thing, of course, but I did step forward, demanding an explanation for this ridiculous talking behind my back. And now do you know what he said?"

Doctor F. Reud politely shook his head, giving his feedback to the rhetorical question. Even though a pretty solid idea was forming in his head why some people could mistake this 'obviously heterosexual' young man (to cite his own words) for a 'fag', he forced all the prejudices that pressed on him back to the pit of his mind where they belonged. In the end, he really was rather pleased to find that Mister Rhapsodos was experiencing a relatively harmless problem, compared to his previous client.

"He said it was because I look gay! I mean: hellooooo? In what way do I look gay?!" He threw his hand up in a gesture of exasperation. "I asked him that particular question and guess what he said: my pink coat looks strange. Pink! Excuse me?! Everyone with the barest sense of colour sees that this is NOT _pink_! It _apparently_ is a light shade of red! It is _red_, one of the three primary colours! I admit that it might look a bit like bordering on a pale magenta from a certain angle when the sun shines directly on it, but it most certainly is not _pink_! He then said it would look girly in combination with my hair... But now, it is not my fault that I look best in red! It simply compliments my eye colour, and my complexion does not look as pale as it would with black! These barbarians simply have no sense of fashion!"

He huffed and closed his eyes for a moment, apparently striving to regain his composure and stay calm and dignified. The apple in his hand had been maltreated enough that it closer resembled an abstract, reddish, rather phallic sculpture than a fruit now, but still it wasn´t released from the abusive hetero´s grip.

Sighing, Genesis fell back and more to himself muttered in a partly bitter and pained, dramatic voice,

"_My friend, the fates are cruel  
There are no dreams, no honor remains  
The arrow has left the bow of the goddess"_

He shook his head and then looked back at the therapist with a grim expression.

"Now after I learned that the choice of my clothing determines me to being homosexual I asked if there was anything else, and as if that wasn´t ridiculous enough, I came to know that reading _poems_ qualifies me for being gay as well!"

He rolled his eyes at that, waving a little with his book and continued morosely,

"So if I feel like reading more than the advertising for the next issue of the weakly porn magazine that makes me a homosexual? What´s next?! Now maybe they claim that Leonardo da Vinci was also gay, because he liked painting?!"

The psychologist tilted his head at the slightly overdrawn comparison, but then he had to clear his throat and quietly inform his client,

"Actually it is fairly certain that da Vinci was gay." Almost immediately he moved his hand in a calming manner though, adding in a soothing tone "That doesn´t have to concern you, of course"

An uncomfortable silence befell the room for a moment, Genesis staring blank faced at his therapist, before he chose to simply ignore the interjection for the sake of his sanity and switched back to being perfectly pissed and overdramatic.

"Well fine, maybe being interested in culture is not that common amongst the blockheads that are our soldiers, but it certainly doesn´t say anything about my sexuality, even though I can recite the entire book –which is a play by the way, not a poem!- backwards in my sleep."

He flicked his wrist, agitatedly swaying the phallic wax shaft through the room. Doctor Reud tried not to look there and forced himself to tightly concentrated on his notes.

"Well," Genesis said after another sigh and a miffed look, "I could maybe understand that they would come to that wrong conclusion because of that side job of mine… I´m doing this dancing and singing stuff on stage and if the audience demands it, I occasionally bend to my managers will and become a little touchy with the other dancers. But that´s all just for the money, you know, all that glistens is not gold with ShinRa and I need that side job!"

Doctor F. Reud looked up from the grocery list he was secretly writing.

"You are a prostitute?"

"Good god no!" Appalled Genesis stared at the therapist in shock. "My stage name is Gackt and if anything, _I_ hook up with the fans… Woman, mind you! Curvy woman! With breasts, you know?" He made a meaningful gesture at his flat chest, squeezing the air where the female equivalent would have had their secondary sex characteristics. "I mean just because I wear flaming red bordering on what ignorant people mistake as pink, have an overly dramatic and attitudinized personality, constantly recite poems and made a few photos naked in a bed with another guy doesn´t make me gay!"

The psychologist gave an awkwardly 'understanding' nod, scribbled something on his notes and then crossed his legs, looking interested,

"Would you mind telling me why it upsets you to be called a homosexual?"

"I hate them!" Genesis Rhapsodos instantly snapped back. "I don´t want them near me, they are disgusting and sick and I simply hate them! You can write that on your notes: .them." He shot the therapist a triumphant look, obviously very satisfied with his statement, and then he leaned back in an almost gleeful, enthusiastic manner, gesturing with his hand in the air."Did you know that some psychologists view homosexuality as a disorder? It´s an illness, that´s what it is, I read all about it! And what if it is contagious? I think we should just shot them or lock them up to spare the world from their twisted views and-"

He suddenly stopped midsentence, eyes going wide and with an unconscious, swift clenching of his hand twisting the wax penis (his subconscious had magically formed) in half.

"Wait. Do I sound homophobic? I do sound homophobic, don´t I?"

The former apple tumbled from his hand and hit the floor with a soft 'thud', where it lay on the carpet, sad and impotent.

Doctor F. Reud leaned forward and held up his hand in a calming manner, but his client was totally caught up in his horror, whispering, "Oh good gods, I am homophobic! I am homophobic, which means that I am suppressing some inner urges, homosexual urges, and to distract from them I am showing an over the top aversion against what I secretly desire! I read all about it in 'Psychology today'!"

He moved a hand towards his open mouth, still staring widely at the psychologist who tried his best to calm the man down and rebut his overly hastily drawn, pseudo self-analyzed phobia while at the same time trying to hide his notes where he had written 'Homophobia?' in large, ornate letters.

"Now please, Mr Rhapsodos, calm down, this is really not-"

Genesis Rhapsodos was neither looking nor listening, however, but standing up in agitation, pacing the room.

"My god, my god! I do not _like_ men, I like curvy, well-developed women but the signs all inevitably point towards that conclusion! Oh god, and all my live I was oblivious! I am gay and I didn´t even know it! They were right, it´s not red, it´s PINK and I subconsciously chose it because I am… I am… GAY!"

Doctor F. Reud had stood as well, desperate to get the man to calm down and listen to his reasoning that this _really_ wasn´t necessarily the case, but Genesis just abruptly turned towards his therapist, making the man stiffen in surprise.

"Doctor," he said in a forced calm, and almost solemn tone, though the agitation and confusion still leaked from his voice. "I thank you for pointing this out to me. It is a bit of a shock and it actually surprised me, but there will be no more denial from now on, I promise. I will accept it, even if I have to force myself to find hairy, sweaty beefcakes sexy! I thank you so much for opening my ignorant eyes."

He heartily shook the man´s hand, than looked up towards the ceiling and recited in an overly emotional manner,

"_My friend, do you fly away now?  
To a world that abhors you and I?  
All that awaits you is a somber morrow  
No matter where the winds may blow_

_My friend, your desire  
Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess_

_Even if the morrow is barren of promises  
Nothing shall forestall my return_

_Legend shall speak  
Of sacrifice at world's end  
The wind sails over the water's surface  
Quietly, but surely"_

And before the therapist had another chance to talk him out of his _idée fixe,_ Genesis Rhapsodos was gone, his coat dramatically swaying behind him as he got on his search for his first homosexual encounter.

**TBC**

**

* * *

****Homophobia… Funny thing. When I first saw Genesis I thought "Wtf?!" and my little sister just clinically observed that he was gay XD Of course I am not claiming that he is, it´s all a matter of suggestion – he can be bi, hetero, asexual, whatever he wants to be^^ Oh and the thing where he mentions doing homoerotic photos was actually a reference to his 'stage self' Gackt, who really did these photos…**

**Now on to the reviews (yay!)**

**ExtremRainbowRaiderPrincess:** (what a cool name! I tried to say that three times in a row XD). I was always wondering where Sephiroth had Jenovas head during the game, and then an image with The Almighty and a backpack popped up in my head… I changed that to a normal back in the end^^ Glad you liked it!

**Prisonerksc2-303:** Haha, yes, Sephiroth is a bit creepy, but then again he´s mad, so he´s has to be ;) Hm, I thought that I could see some parallels between ´Psycho´ and Sephiroth and his mother and thought that maybe they could (subconciously) do so as well. I´m happy to hear that you liked it, I hope you enjoyed the new chapter as well!

**Oreramar:** I study psychology at a university. My focus is not on therapy, though, but I do get the basics, and this is only meant to be fun of course ;) There will be many mistakes and things a professional would never do, but I will not go strictly by the script^^ Thank you for pointing the story of Oedipus out! I know it, but I thought that maybe some readers don´t, and you are right, the story is much more complex than that! Say 'thank you' to your textbook for me (do you study literature or something?) J

**Aeriths-Rain:** hah, I thought that the doctor was a poor guy too, but then I imagined him sitting 9 hours in his office listening to boring, trivial stuff. At least he´s got some action with the FFVII crew XD Do you have a special preference who should be next?

**GlaurungII:** I am glad you liked it! It was very much fun writing it, but hearing that others enjoyed it as well makes it even more fun^^ Oh and the doctor certianly will be a nervous wreck once he is done 'helping' everyone XD But he´s just an OC, so he has to bear with it.

**sareyva:** Oh yes, Sephiroth is so oblivious to his mental disorder, he just doesn´t want to hear anything about it XD Of course the remnants will get their sessions, I am just wondering if they´ll have group therapy or their own sessions… I´d like them to have their own, but I want them to be together as well. Still, if I imagine writing those three in one session I might go crazy! Ah, I´ll figure something out^^ Thank you for the feedback, I´m happy you like it!

**JeanAlexandra:** Haha, he SO is crazy XD I´m not sure if you could say that he has an oedipus complex though… On crucial premise, namely that he failed to detach from his mother when he was a little boy, is missing since –as far as I know- he didn´t have a mother figure then. So he might be obsessive with Jenova but I´d rather say it´s a compensation thing, maybe… Ah, sorry, I got a bit carried away ^^' I am glad you liked it and thank you for reviewing!

**So, I´m off now to pester the net for the raw version of Advent Children Complete which should have been out since yesterday but still didn´t find its way on my comp… I love the superfast, globalized world, why the hell is it failing me NOW?! -_-**

**Anyway, next chapter will be: Rufus 'I-have-a-brilliant-idea' ShinRa**

**(Btw: I already said it in the first chapter, but you can make suggestions to who the next character posted should be^^)**

**Review please?**


	4. Rufus Shinra

**Hey there!** **This time it´s Rufus Shinra on the couch. He wasn´t very cooperative and insisted to be taken seriously, so I apologize for any un-funny-ness *smacks spoiled brat* It´s all his fault!**

**Thanks to PfenixB for the awesomely done betaing** (and I suspected that 'alright' isn´t an actual word since my dictionary doesn´t know it... But I saw it in other stories and took it for granted -_-), **to purefoysgirl/jaded_grin and zillgk on LJ for reassuring me that this is funny **(that´s why I decided to post it at all), **and to dragon_infusion on LJ for pointing a few things out that helped me making the story a bit better.**

**Now finally enjoy!**

* * *

OTC Rufus Shinra

Doctor F. Reud´s attempt of massaging his upcoming migraine away was interrupted by the sharp knock on his office door. Briefly wondering why he was occupying a desk girl at all, he looked up from his notes and invited, "Yes, please?"

The door was open before the therapist got an answer, making the man wryly think that whoever it was sure had thin patience and a demanding demeanour.

And in came Rufus Shinra, owner of the planet´s largest company, who was still trying to shove away the slightly unsettling memory of one Genesis Rhapsodos walking past him, lewdly winking at his person.

"Doctor Reud?" he asked clinically, seizing the therapist up with calculating, fathomless eyes.

"Yes," the doctor hurried to affirm, setting his glasses aside and standing from his chair to shake the hand held out towards him over his desk. The former president´s grip was firm and quick, and after he was sure that he had the right person, his face contorted into a mask of charming friendliness.

"I know we did not have an appointment, but may I steal a little of your precious time?"

The doctor frowned at that, but since Mr. Rhapsodos had managed to more or less 'heal' himself in less than 20 minutes, there was still some time left before his next client would show up.

"Of course. Have a seat please." He gestured towards his sofa, wondering what problem the young man could possibly have, devoutly hoping that it had nothing to do with either his mother or his sexuality.

"I'll take a coffee, no sugar, no milk," Rufus Shinra arrogantly demanded, sitting down and crossing his legs. The doctor viewed him with a raised eyebrow, but then gave the order through the intercom and sat down in his chair opposite the blond, who straightened his obligatory, expensive white suit.

"So doctor, did you settle in well? Are the quarters to your liking?" Rufus asked with professional curiosity, his arm laying on the armrest. It was his company that provided the premises for the doctor´s office, after all.

"Yes, thank you, I can´t see anything wrong with it," the therapist quietly replied, keenly observing the man before him.

"I am glad to hear tha- Ah, finally, my coffee," impatiently, Rufus watched Martha placing a delicate cup in front of him on the table and imperiously waved her away without so much as a 'thank you'.

"So, what is it you want to talk about?" doctor F. Reud asked calmly with a questioning look and his pen ready to finish his grocery list.

"Actually, I don´t want you to take any notes on this," the blond answered congenially, setting his cup down after he had taken a small sip, shooting the psychologist a meaningful look. "The topic I want to discuss is a bit precarious and I´d prefer there was no evidence of our conversation."

"I see…" Putting his pen down, the doctor laid his clipboard on the table next to him and calmly folded his hands in his lap. He wasn´t that surprised actually, men in high positions that wielded enormous amounts of power tended to become extremely suspicious and detect a threat everywhere. Judging from his experience, Rufus Shinra would not reveal anything crucial in the first session anyway; and as soon as some trust ad built between them, he´d allow the therapist to take notes anyway. After all, Rufus had already taken the first step and acknowledged that he had a problem that needed a professional´s attention.

"And the reason why you are here is…?"

"Religion," Rufus answered, calmly holding the cup in his lap.

Doctor F. Reud was tempted to frown at that (for he certainly had not suspected the man to be religious), but instead inquired carefully "Are you sure that I am the right person for this? It may be better to talk to a priest…"

"Oh, I am fairly certain you are just the man I need," was the confident reply, accompanied by a faint smile that the doctor somehow did not like. Actually, it gave him a very bad foreboding feeling of tremendous things that would follow.

"You see, I am not here for psychological advice on my person. My concern is rather business motivated." The blond continued in a light, smooth voice that did not really match his cold, assessing and slightly excited gander. "I seek your advice on a project I am planning."

"A project?" the therapist echoed, intertwining his fingers in his lap. This did not sound so bad then… It certainly was better than getting another unwanted insight into a neurosis-infested mind.

"Yes," Rufus affirmed, finally setting his cup on the table and leaning back with another winning smile. "But please, let me start from the beginning to make my intentions more comprehendible."

Seeing the nod from his hopefully soon to be partner-in-crime, Rufus held back the triumphant smirk that threatened to creep over his otherwise relaxed and harmless expression, and started to explain himself.

"As you probably know, I am the rightful successor to the ShinRa company, once the planet´s most powerful provider of energy." He received another nod. "Sadly, this business obviously did not go very well… I do not wholly blame my father´s politics for the downfall of the company and the almost-annihilation of the planet; I do take responsibility myself. What we did to the planet, to the people…" He shook his head, a grieved expression briefly flickering over his handsome face, before he pragmatically switched back to the important matter at hand and explained clinically, "I feel that we made a lot of mistakes in the past. I did make mistakes. I thought that ruling the world with fear would be an option but I quickly came to redeem that opinion, seeing where it lead us in the end." He sighed an un-Rufus-esque sigh, glancing at the therapist who simply nodded, face friendly but unreadable.

"Now," the blond continued, moving his leg up so that his right ankle was resting on his left knee and nonchalantly continued, "You could say that the company´s politics have changed. We are following a 'pro-planet' policy now, and try our best to make the mistakes from the past undone as much as we can. We even have printed little 'pro planet' buttons…"

Distractedly, Rufus fumbled with the breast pocket of his designer suit until he had summoned a round, ugly little item that depicted an overly eager, grinning Rufus with both thumbs up, and huge letters screaming at the poor reader in acrid neon colours 'ShinRa wants you… to go ´Pro Planet!´. Proudly, the president held up the button between his thumb and index finger for the doctor to examine and announced diplomatically "It´s made of steel from a mine in Gongaga, and thanks to the child workers we can keep the costs low so everyone can obtain it. For approximately 15 dollars, it´ll be yours. You want one?"

Before the therapist got a chance to deny, Rufus had already placed it on the table and explained with a small, gracious smile, "Just take it. I´ll subtract it from your rent."

Doctor F. Reud dubiously eyed the awful button he just had been forced to obtain. His attention was instantaneously drawn back to the demanding blond as he continued in his seemingly endless monologue, which didn´t surprise the therapist much-- Rufus seemed to take a certain delight in hearing himself speak.

"And fortunately we don´t have to rely on the planet´s energy anymore. That Wallace guy just found a huge oil field and we are currently in negotiations to obtain a large part of it. We´ll simply exploit the non-renewable resources of the planet until they run dry, but that shouldn´t concern us since we'll be dead by then anyway. And how goes that wonderful saying? Devil may care." He gave a light shrug and leaned back, obviously very satisfied with his agenda.

"And let me tell you that we spend no small amounts of money for the reconstruction of Edge and important institutions like ShinRa Arcade to take the people's minds off their dull lives, ShinRa Burger to provide everyone with food and the likes. If we aren´t Pro Planet I do not know who is."

The president paused to let his honorable actions reach the other´s consciousness and then said easily, gesturing with his hand, "I feel that these actions and our obvious will to make things better do not reach the population's ears. Our reputation has suffered a great deal, and I am afraid we took damage that goes beyond restoration."

Rufus let his hand fall back in his lap, shaking his head a little. "Now, I do not think this necessarily is a bad thing, it is just a company, after all. But I do feel that with the downfall of ShinRa company, people would not only lose their jobs and their houses, but something more crucial, something deeper!" He made a fist and narrowed his eyes, passionately looking at the doctor who just impassively nodded again at Rufus´s attempts to win him over with his sales strategy.

"ShinRa wasn´t just a _company_, it was a stabile constant, a father figure that might have been strict and not always act in the sense of its children –though I must say that incident with the plate relieved us from quite a remarkable amount of social parasites. Nonetheless, it was something to believe in. I feel that, with that constant gone, people have become unsure and despaired. They do not know what to believe in anymore, what to look up to, who to trust in. Everything has become arbitrary and they feel left alone and insecure in those anomic times. And that really grieves me." He managed a suffering look and the fist landed against his left chest with a hearty 'thud'.

Then he relaxed his features again and reached for his cup to take another sip, observing the psychologist over the rim.

"I thought long and hard how to solve the problem, and came to the conclusion that the company is restricted in its abilities simply because of the negative connotation its name carries with those we intend to help. I further thought about alternatives to help without involving the company. And contemplating all the options I came to one conclusion:"

Rufus made another pause for dramatic effect before he finally leaned forward and let the cat out of the bag with another cunning, small smile, "Religion."

He leaned back again, the smile still lingering on his lips as he elaborated. "I want to rule this world with religion. My _own_ religion."

"…I beg your pardon?" the therapist mouthed, thinking that he had misheard.

"I´ll create my own sect," Rufus announced calmly, and utterly unfazed, observing his neatly cut nails. "I mean, people are stupid, they believe in anything, the more absurd, the better. How did Marx say? ´Religion is the opium of the people´-and right he is. I will promise them salvation, direction, a reason to live for. There must be a mystic note added of course, something transcendental, otherwise it probably won´t work. I could claim to be able to walk over water for example– wait, that has already been done…. Or maybe I can say that aliens came to our planet thousands of years ago and dropped their excrements into a volcano and thus we came into being and have to abide by their inherited rules. With me being the only direct connection to their line of course- Wait, that also has been done already. And the alien part might not sit too well with the people, the link to a certain chopped off head might be too close…"

He looked thoughtful for a moment, frowning with a finger against his lips, muttering, "Just what did Sephiroth do again to obtain his god status? I should probably give him a call…" But then he shook his head, abandoned the gesture and looked back at the petrified psychologist.

"Anyway, I can think about the specifics later. The most important thing is that I will rise to power again by being the sect´s guru- I mean I have the looks and the charms, I am certain people will bend over backwards to join. For a fair amount of 'sacrifice' of course, they will swear their loyalty to me with money." A cunning smirk graced his features and a strand of blond hair fell into his eyes that went ignored as he continued to lay out his ingenious plan for another world domination by the Shinra family.

"I have the financial resources and the charm, as well as the skills needed for leadership. But I lack something crucial, and this is where you come in."

"Really?" the doctor voiced doubtfully, looking the opposite of enthusiastic.

"You have the knowledge on how to deceive the masses. You will create the perfect sect for me, right from scratch. I´ll leave all the mass hooking to you and concentrate on exploiting the sheep. And once they have nothing to spare anymore, we will stage a mass suicide, I bet you have some medication that will grant me a realistic looking suspended animation? I´m good at pretending to be half-dead already, it worked pretty well the last time I saved the planet from those momma´s boys… Maybe I could include that into the sect- Rufus ShinRa, the planet´s savior! Rufus has risen!" he moved both hands up in the air, looking at an imaginary logo. "You should keep that in mind for the concept. We´ll split 95 - 5. 95 for me, that is. What do you say? Sounds like a good deal, doesn´t it?" Rufus watched the man with intense, narrowed eyes and a slightly intimidating tone.

The psychologist briefly wondered whether he should get the tranquilliser gun he had hidden behind the cushion in his chair after his encounter with Sephiroth (just in case…). He saw himself confronted with a deadly serious case of alarmingly advanced loss of reality and megalomania (not to speak of excessive narcissism...but then again, this probably was the least threatening mental disorder this guy was harboring). And although Sephiroth might have been looking much more nuts and unpredictable, this was exactly why the doctor was far more wary of Rufus with his rational, cold calculations. This man was dangerous, very much so _because _of his sanity. "Eh…Well… I think this is a bit sud-"

"Oh, I get it." Rufus interrupted, face and tone neutral again as he folded his hands in his lap with a disappointed look. "It probably was a stupid idea. I should have known that you wouldn´t agree to such a bold offer."

Doctor F. Reud hesitantly nodded and withdrew his hand from the side of his chair where he had been inconspicuously fumbling for the reassuring weight of his gun, not letting his eyes leave the lunatic.

Rufus sighed deeply, eyes dropped at the hands in his lap until he shifted them up to the therapist again, practically piercing him with his sharp, unflinching gaze.

"Fine. 93-7."

Upon noticing the unmoving, shell-shocked psychologist, Rufus rolled his eyes, thinking that the guy really had mastered the art of negotiating with that unbending attitude and that poker face of his.

At that moment, the intercom crackled with the desk girl announcing that the next client had arrived, but naturally Rufus just ignored it.

"Alright then, 92-8, but that is my last word. And you had better take me up on that offer, otherwise I cannot guarantee the behaviour of my troops… You know, the Turks already have become rather passionate believers, and we wouldn´t want them to mistake you as an offender to their god and accidently lynch yo- uff."

Wide eyed, Rufus suddenly grabbed at his heart and stared into the muzzle of the tranquillizer gun his therapist was pointing at him. Then he slumped over, his head hitting the table with a small sound.

Doctor F. Reud had just enough time to quickly stuff the gun behind a cushion of his chair and crouch down beside his guest to rip the dart out of his chest when the door opened, and another tall, dark haired man in a black suit stepped in.

"Is everything all rightin here?"

The doctor hurried to nod, looking perfectly unfazed as he gestured towards the unconscious patient and hastily put the poisoned dart back in his pocket, saying calmly, "Everything is fine. Mr Shinra just fainted, due to a lot of stress, I believe. It is nothing serious; I will prescribe him something against it and you should make sure that he doesn´t leave the bed for the next twenty year- days, I mean. I will come to look after him soon. He just desperately needs some rest."

"I understand," Tseng affirmed with a nod and bend down next to the couch to gather his president. Meanwhile the doctor, with shaking hands, wrote down a receipt for a heavy tranquillizer that would, with any luck, keep this nutjob unconscious for a fair amount of time.

"Oh, another thing," he spoke up again and Tseng stopped by the door, only turning his head around since his body was busy holding a softly snoring wanna-be guru.

"When he wakes up and says strange things about… guns and becoming a god, either ignore it or call me; do not pay any attention to it. This is only due to his strenuous lifestyle and the stress, he might be hallucinating."

"I see," the head Turk affirmed unaffectedly, luckily failing to notice the doctor´s nervous lick over his lips, since most of his attention was drawn to his boss snuggling closer and drooling all over his best suit.

The doctor gave him a tight smile as a farewell, but before he finally got relieved from the guys presence Tseng quietly said, leaning forward and voice dropping down to a low murmur, "I was just wondering doctor if you might have a free spot in your schedule, seeing that you are treating stress symptoms as well… "

"Sure, Martha will give you an appointment," doctor F. Reud promised almost desperately, eager to get them out of his office.

The Turk gave a grateful, light bow of his head and then finally carried Rufus Shinra to a long-term isolation in his bedroom.

TBC

* * *

**Yeah, that´s it... So let´s see who we have so far voted for the next chapter:**

Zack: II

Angeal: II

Cloud: IIIII

Vincent: IIIII

Sephiroth (revisit): I

one of the Turks: I

Hojo: I

Remnants: I

**Eh, no one likes the FFVII girls on the couch? ^^ Okay, this is a very close run between Cloud and Vincent. Since they both have equal votes I´d suggest I take votes till tuesday and depending on that I´ll decide who´s next. Or maybe Zack makes a comeback? :)**

**Now on to the reviews:**

**natzilla: **Haha, that´s a lovely theory**: **Genesis driving poor Sephy nuts with his endless recitings XD But you know, it does sound strangely plausible^^ The mystery is finally revealed!

**bushes283:** Here you had Rufus^^ I am itching to get my hands on one of the poor Turks (at least we saw a glimpse of Tseng in this chapter). Do you want anyone in particular?

**Oreramar:** Oh my, art? That sounds awesome! If I just had one artistic streak within me I would have studied that as well (analyzing Gustav Doré, yay!). I saw ACC by now and I recommend you do so. If you don´t have it by now I could send you a PM with a link to get it... I don´t know if it´s up on youtube by now, but I have both the japanese and english dub^^

**Glaurung II:**I´m glad it got even better! I hope this chapter didn´t disappoint though... Yes, I believe to have read that Gackt claimed to be hetero as well, but maybe he just doesn´t know that he´s secretly homo/bi XD I agree, Hojo certainly is a nutter. He´s just too obsessed with his 'science'-thingy -_-

**ExtremeRainbowRaiderPrincess:** You´re welcome ^__^ I am happy you liked Genesis! As I said it was the first time I wrote him and therefore I was a bit unsure if I got him right (and since he had to be funny as well without appearing too OOC it was a bit of a trial- but a fun one!). Doctor F. Reud has his tranquillizer gun now, he feels a bit better and ready to cope with whatever comes through his door XD But we´ll see how long that´ll last...

**Aeriths-Rain:** Hehe, yes, poor naive little Genesis - he´s just too impressible *hides all gay pron magazines* It looks good for Vincent so far, he´s equal with Cloud...

**purefoysgirl:** Genesis likes to hear himself talking, I suppose (not as bad as Rufus though)^^ Yes, the doctor didn´t have much to do the last chapter, but he gets all aggressive in this one. Thank you again for the encouragement!

**sareyva:** I thought about that, but I might do it the other way around: group session first -which won´t work of course- and then inidvidual sessions. Maybe there will be one last group session afterwards. Haha, the doctor tries to get rid of the remains of Jenova sticking to his hands^^ Hm, he could encrypt his writings or something... *thinks about that*

**Btw: If you yearn for ACC and just cannot wait till it comes out in the US drop me a review or PM with your email-adress or the request and I´ll send you a link for the english dubbed version...**

**Review please?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hiya! Here we go again, sorry for the delay but it turned out that Cloud (clear winner!) was even more of a trial than Rufus. He kept being depressing and kill the funny mood, but thanks to purefoysgirl/jaded_grin and zillkd we managed to fill him up with enough White Russians to get the party over with^^**

**And a big 'Thank you' to PfenixB for the awesome betaing!**

**There you go!**

* * *

4. Session: Cloud Strife

The head Turk had just gone through the office door when another young man entered. He stopped, his bright blue eyes briefly following the absurd couple walking past him, but then his melancholy gaze drifted back to the psychologist who sported an expression as if butter wouldn´t melt in his mouth.

"Mister Cloud Strife, I take it?"

The blond slowly, and somewhat hesitantly, nodded.

The therapist summoned another professional -albeit slightly stressed- smile and gestured towards the couch. "I am Doctor Reud, your therapist. Please, have a seat."

Cloud stared at the black leather sofa for a moment, then he closed the door and slowly walked over. The doctor had already taken his seat, inconspicuously nudging his tranquilizer gun into a position where he could quickly grab it if necessary, and the clipboard was resting on his crossed knees again.

This one struck him to be of the quiet kind, which was actually a bit of a relief after the two chatterboxes he had just –more or less successfully- treated. The young man´s shoulders were slumped and his whole composure implied that he was burdened by a great weight. Scrutinizing the large sword Mister Strife carried on his back, the doctor quick-wittedly assessed that probably was no wonder, really…

The blond stood before the couch and looked down at his psychologist with hesitant, unreadable eyes before he finally sighed and awkwardly sat down.

_RAAAAAAAAAAAATSCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!_

A strange noise suddenly filled the quiet room and the therapist looked up from his notes with something akin to hysteric panic on his face, one hand already at the gun.

The young man, though, sat stiffly and unmoving on the sofa, looking with big round eyes at doctor F. Reud and saying blandly, "I´m sorry. I think I accidently killed the couch."

He shifted a bit to get the huge blade, that had buried itself into the soft filling, out of the white stuff that swelled from the deep slit, but apparently that was easier tried than done.

"I-I´m really sorry…" the blond breathed, furrowing his brows in dismay as he tried to get up and at the same time stuffing the cotton back into the couch to cover up his faux pas.

"It´s alright, it´s fine," doctor Reud appeased him, suppressing the urge to groan, and instead moving his hands in a calming manner. "Please, just sit, I will take care of that later." He was just glad the blade hadn´t 'accidently' sliced him…

Cloud halted in his movements and then gave another brief, somewhat grieved nod and turned around to sit down again, this time arranging himself in a way that he wouldn´t cut through any irreplaceable designer furniture anymore. His insurance had just expired.

Since he didn´t speak and just stared down at the carpet with his lips pressed together the therapist shifted in his seat and asked with soft friendliness,

"Have you been in therapy before?"

Cloud just shook his head without leaving the spot his gaze occupied. Doctor F. Reud just nodded in understanding and wrote something down on his clipboard.

"I see. Well, you don´t have to feel uncomfortable about it, many people feel unsure the first time. I know you have been ordered to come here, but I wish that you could view this as an opportunity, not as a compulsory measure."

The blond looked up at that with something that resembled despair. "I don´t see this as a burden," he informed the other in a small voice, before his gaze almost shyly drifted back to the carpet. "Actually… I´m glad to be here. There is so much that burdens me, so many things that weigh down on me… I´m glad to finally be able and share them with someone." He pressed his lips together again, his tired and sad voice drifting through the quiet room.

"I am glad to hear that then," the doctor said earnestly, leaning a bit forward. "Please, share with me whatever you feel like telling me."

"I…" Cloud paused, then he shook his head and moved his hand over his mouth, leaning forward, shoulders slumped down before he looked up again and bluntly blurted out.

"I hate my life!"

"Oh."

"Everything around me gets killed."

The psychologist´s eyes inconspicuously darted to his massacred sofa, before he licked his lips and gave an understanding nod. He just hoped the guy and his ridiculously large sword would stay at a safe distance from _him_!

"Not so long ago I lost a dear friend, a wonderful, beautiful, tender, kind, warm hearted flower girl…" Cloud continued, unfazed, too wrapped up in his depression to notice the dubious look he received.

"Hmhm," the therapist made in sympathy, looking up from his notes again and asking softly, "How did that make you feel?"

The young man moved his head again, then he gave a helpless shrug and answered quietly. "I don´t know. Sad, I think. Helpless. Impotent. Incapable. Useless. Like the worst trash ever. No even lower… My heart was completely torn to shreds that night. I fell into a deep, dark, never ending hole. It swallowed me completely. I feel shitty and utterly worthless because I could not save her even though I was only a mere inches away from her and all it would have taken was one look up, but at that time I had a muscle ache in my neck from all the 'looking down in a depressed manner-'thing."

"I understand," the doctor nodded again, scribbling down 'feels bad about it'.

"But I got over it, somehow, I think…" Cloud continued, sadly looking at his hands. "She forgave me, she said. I had this vision, you know… I was on my bike, driving through a forest but suddenly it was like a flash and I got pulled back into another sphere. Everything was really bright, and a bit fuzzy, but I felt warm and safe. There were beautiful flowers in all kinds of possible and impossible colours and I felt like floating. It was a bit strange, because except for the flowers under me everything was stark white, there was no sky, no nothing. But then I could feel her presence behind me, and she was laughing. I couldn´t see her, but Aeris´ hand was on my shoulder and she said she forgave me. She spoke to me from the other side, from the Lifestream where the souls turn back to after the body died… I felt so relieved after that. I thought I finally had a reason to live again, the weight was taken away from my heart, and I felt able to move on again. For the first time in years, the light shone for me again as well, and I could actually lift up my head again. When I turned around to face her I was back on my bike and she was gone though…"

The therapist´s pen halted as he observed the blond with slightly narrowed eyes, asking in a neutral tone "Visions, I see… Are you taking any… pills?"

"Like aspirin?" Cloud asked naively, big blue eyes glued to his psychologist.

"Well, no, more like… LSD, Ecstasy, mescaline or other psychedelics?"

"No," Cloud replied blank faced, tilting his head in slight confusion.

"Oh, I am just asking because the symptoms you were describing suggest the assumption that the cause of your vision was of a completely unethical nature."

Cloud continued to blankly stare at his therapist. "Are you saying… someone _drugged_ me?"

"No no," doctor F. Reud hurried to deny, sensing the upcoming distress of his patient. Coughing, he looked down at his notes again, saying carefully. "I am just suggesting that the possibility isn´t totally out of question… Did you eat or drink anything that tasted unusual before you went out?"

"No… Wait, one of the Turks, the redheaded one, gave me a cookie, saying I could need the energy… "

"Hash cookies, I see," the psychologist mumbled under his breath.

"Does… does that mean it wasn´t Aeris speaking to me?"

Doctor F. Reud almost cringed at the utterly devastated and crestfallen look he received from his patient, but couldn´t do anything but say "I am afraid so."

"She didn´t really forgive me?! Oh gods! She didn´t forgive me, she´s still angry and she hates me! It was just the drugs playing tricks on my mind, pretending that Aeris was safe and sound and happy and in one piece?! All the relief, all the hope was just fake?! My life actually is just as useless and unworthy as it was before and I´m still worse than the old gum stuck under the sole of the Turks' shoes?! " The young man moaned and buried his face in his hands, his small figure trembling.

"There, there," the therapist said sympathetically and clasped him on the shoulder, discreetly pushing the tissue box into Cloud´s direction. The blond took another moment of grief, before he looked up at his psychologist again, blinked and asked hopefully,

"Could you subscribe me more of those psychedelics?"

Doctor F. Reud shot him a strange look and hurried to get his hand away from Mister Strife. Choosing to ignore the question he leaned back in his seat again, rolling the pen in his hand and continuing with his therapy.

"Is there something else you want to talk about?"

Cloud sat up, looking perfectly depressed and emo again and after another grieved sigh he said in that gloomy voice of his,

"Yes. I lost another dear friend."

"Oh. I am sorry to hear that. It must have been difficult for you," the doctor offered, feeling sincerely sorry for Cloud. It seemed that he really had a reason to be so… depressing and dramatic. His life seemed depressing at least. But gods, his friends didn´t seem to be of the lucky kind. He was secretly wondering how many more dead friends he´d have to hear about today… His gaze automatically got drawn to the huge buster sword again.

"Yes, yes it was…" the blond nodded, looking back at that interesting spot on the carpet. If he squinted and tilted his head in the right angle it looked like a giraffe…

"There was a big fight, and then he was… dead… But the hard thing about it isn´t that he´s actually gone. Before he died he told me that I should live the life for the both of us." Cloud made another heavy pause, adding quietly, "I didn´t know it was so difficult to do that."

He earned himself another sympathetic look from the doctor before he finally leaned back on the couch, hands in his lap, staring up at the ceiling.

"I mean we were so different."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well… For example, he liked dogs, I like cats. He liked spicy, I like salty -I hate spicy, by the way. He liked black, I like white. He was funny and I´m depressing. He was Soldier 1st Class, I barely made it to an infantryman… I mean, it´s just unfair! I failed in becoming 1st Class, I´ll admit that, but I saved the planet _twice_ now, and do you know what I´m doing? I´m a delivery boy! Yes, you heard me right, I´m carrying packages around. I mean I killed the evil antagonist so many times even _I_ lost track – which dear Zack didn´t manage once by the way, Sephiroth kicked his ass and it was on me to save us both! I finally got the chance to get the fame and praise I always wanted, to be honoured, to be rich and to have nice girlfriends. And I deserve it! But no, of course I can´t have that but must roam the dusty, boring roads instead because some dead guy told me to do so. I mean, I didn´t even really know him! Just because we floated in a mako tank next to each other for two years doesn´t give him the right to dictate my life does it?! "

"I… suppose not?" doctor Reud said mechanically, a bit taken aback by the sudden outburst.

"Well, don´t get me wrong, I´m really grateful that he got me out of that lab and dragged me along while I was busy being mako-intoxicated and generally being a burden." Cloud moved his head back and made a dismissive gesture with his hand. "And I´m also grateful for the Buster Sword he bequeathed to me, it´s really handy when it doesn´t randomly slice off things…" An apologetic look was thrown at the deadly long slot that marred the couch´s surface. "But I did my part as well. I sent his girlfriend up, didn´t I? Aeris and Zack can be happily ever after in the Lifestream now, they won´t be lonely anymore and they have each other again, so my job´s done, isn´t it? Don´t you think I should start living my own glorious, rich and reckless life?"

"… If this is what makes you happy…"

"Hm. All I want is a big mansion the size of Disney World. You know what, screw that, I want Disney World. I´ll call it Neverland – wait, what am I saying, I´ll call it '_The Promised Land_'- and it´ll be home for a lot of poor, abandoned girls in tight fitting bunny costumes who serve me caviar and champagne 24/7 in my whirlpool. That´s not too much to ask for after all I did for the planet, I think." Cloud had crossed his arms over his chest and a small smile brightened his boyish features. Doctor F. Reud could not say that he appreciated it, though. It looked kind of selfish and opportunistic. Just what was it with the blond guys?!

The next moment the young man relaxed his arms though, and with another sigh he declared,

"It´s not that I don´t appreciate what Zack did for me. I know I wouldn´t be here now if it hadn´t been for him. But it wasn´t easy for me either. You see, my idol, the person I respected and worshipped most on this planet went mad and burned down my hometown. He even crisped the mean little brats that wouldn´t let me play hide and seek with them, when I was a kid… and later on... But you know, that´s okay actually, not much angsting there, they really deserved it." He made a casual, dismissive gesture with his hand.

" But on top of that, Sephiroth´s attracted to a chopped-off alien head." Cloud´s features contorted into a mask of disgust and utter heart-broken dismay, before they turned bitter and melancholic again. "I think that´s what burdens me most. All my dreams, all my hopes were crushed in that one moment when I saw him making sheep´s eyes at that… disgusting… _Mother_-thing. Its nipples were THAT big!" He looked scandalized, forming a huge 'O' with both his hands, before he dropped them back in his lap and said in deeply grieved, "I think the line between genius and madman had never been thinner…"

Cloud stared down at his hands again, lost in his dark thoughts and ignoring the alienated, stony expression of his therapist who still had to digest the nipple size. Automatically the words ´probably not breast-fed´ found their way onto the white paper.

"But he´s gone for good now, I killed him the last time and he´ll be nothing more than a memory, a small figure in my mind that will fade until he´ll be forgotten for all eternity. Da new bossman´s me; take that Sephiroth!" He punched the air with his fist and a determined, ridiculously triumphant expression, before he became aware of his out-of-character behaviour and quickly switched back to being sad and at war with the world.

"But I thank you, doctor. Talking to you opened my eyes and I feel like I gained back control over my life. I didn´t feel so relieved and free for a long time."

"It was my pleasure as well," the therapist said, uncomfortably deciding that he couldn´t break the boy´s frail heart now by telling him that the alien fetishist may not be as dead as Cloud thought he was. They could carefully indulge in that topic in the next session. Doctor F. Reud felt that he would just uselessly open a can of worms if he mentioned the General´s very much alive state now, and he didn´t feel like having another round of depressing emo-ness soiling his already stressed mind further. "I am glad I could help you. Please, Martha will give you a new appointment."

Cloud nodded again, and stood. Then he adjusted his murder-killer slaughter sword and turned to leave for his new, glorious life, happily whistling the tune of 'Always look on the bright side of life'.

TBC

* * *

**Bmonti:** Thank you for giving me your longest review you´ve written so far! I loved your suggestions, but sadly it was important for this chapter that Cloud doesn´t mention Tifa with one word, so I had to focus on other things^^ But you´re right, he needs more than one session, and he´ll get it^^

**bushes283:** I´m glad you liked the last chapter, and I´ll make a mental note for Elena!

**ValarSpawn:** I took your suggestions into the list. They may not have many votes now, but sometimes I just feel like writing a random character XD

**shadowelf144**: Zack it is then, I noted it down^^ (Looks good for him so far)

**Oreramar:** Thank you the suggestions for Angeal! Yes, he definitely has a lot of issues to work out XD Did you get ACC in the USA meanwhile?

**ExtremeRainbowRaiderPrincess:** Thank you XD Hahaha, yes, Rufus was a bit of a trial, but he was NOTHING compared to Cloud! Boy, was he killing me... But I think it turned out okay now, so we´re good *pets his bruised head* Oh, and Yuffie it is? That should be an interesting one!

**Skykhanhunter:** I don´t think Genesis is gay either XD I suppose he isn´t even in this fic, but at least he now believes he is... I´m glad you liked Rufus, and I´ll take your votes for the trio!

**kitsune13:**Haha, I´m happy you liked it!!! Heh, well compared to Rufus Cloud is rather harmless (when he doesn´t slice things...), but the doctor needed a bit of a pause and the big drama with Cloud just started ;)

**Aeriths-Rain:** I´m glad you liked Rufus! I wasn´t sure if it was too... cynic, but apparently it must have been all right then^^ I figured Rufus´d be reckless enough to try to pull something like that, but then he didn´t reckon with the doc´s reluctance.

**YazooValentine:** YAY!!! He didn´t win this round, but maybe the next!

**amethyst-key: **Pew! *feels relieved* I´m glad you liked it, after re-reading it I thought it wasn´t that bad either XD And I hope you liked Cloud as well^^

**Glaurung II:** Hahaha, you´d be surprised ;) I bet Tseng has a lot issue hidden up his sleeve, let´s just see what comes out of it XD And thanks, I´m glad you like it!

**purefoysgirl:** Awwww thanky you^^ And again, thanks for your help and the support, it helps a lot!!!

**Prisonerksc2-303:** Thank you!!! I´m really happy you liked it!

**That´s how it looks so far^^**

Yuffie: I

Angeal: IIII

Tseng: I

Vincent: IIIII II

Zack: IIIII

Weiss:I

Rosso: I

Revisit Genesis: I

Revisit Sephiroth: I

One of the Turks: I

Remnants: I

Hojo: I

Elena: I

**Taking votes till next sunday again^^ Oh, and I´d love to hear your thoughts on this chapter too, of course!**


	6. Cid Highwind

**Thanks to calvi_sama for the awesome betaing and to Chephren, Zilldk and purefoysgirl/jaded_grin for the support and ideas** (though in the end I was too lazy to change it anyways *sigh*)**!**

* * *

**OTC Cid**

Dr. F. Reud leaned back in his high chair, legs crossed and generally giving a relaxed impression, which was no big wonder really, because right now he was enjoying his perfectly quiet, well-deserved lunch break. No lunatics were to be seen far and wide, his (slaughtered) couch was blissfully empty, and life was good and liveworthy again until the moment when his door decided to spontaneously burst apart and scare the living shit out of the poor psychologist.

"You can´t just go in there, Dr. Reud is having his lunch break right now! You will have to make an appointment like everyone else!" was the indignant, slightly shrill voice of his secretary that followed after the crash.

*Panting, the therapist decided that it had to be relatively safe again as he warily peeked from behind his chair into the room, but was not quite brave enough to leave his defence just yet. Quickly adjusting his glasses with a nervous movement he took in the intruder Martha had been huffing at and was very tempted to hide behind his chair again, when he lay eyes on the rough looking blond who growled back, "Shuddup an´ get off´ mah back, woman! I ain´t 'anyone'! Yer talkin´ ta Cid Highwind, HIGHWIND, the first man in space, an´ this 's a bloody emergency, ya hear me?!"

Before Martha could curtly enlighten him that she didn't give a damn who he was, and that there was a doctor on duty for emergencies that certainly was not Doctor F. Reud, the man in question crawled out from behind his desk and stood up, panting, "It's all right Martha, all right, I was finished anyway."

"Heh." Cid grinned triumphantly at the sceptic woman, who threw an unsure look to her employer, but then just shrugged and took her leave. "An´ don' ferget ma gawddamn tea, will ya!" the blond shouted after her.

Stone-faced, the therapist straightened his vest and then wordlessly gestured towards the couch, which Mr Highwind fell heavily onto, dirty boots smearing the expensive carpet and adding a light, muddy tone to the slimy alien-green that already stained it since General Sephiroth's visit. Feeling very much at home without the invitation to do so, Cid fumbled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and put one in his mouth, throwing the empty package on the table.

"You can't smoke in he-" the therapist started politely, but then just shut up as the smoke already circled around his client. Morosely he pushed an empty vase towards his guest so he at least wouldn't ash on the floor.

"Well then, how can I help you?" Dr. F. Reud asked, his gaze wandering from the smoking ruffian to the new sheet of paper on his clipboard. He was very tempted to write 'pathologically impolite' on it, if that had been an actual disorder at all. Maybe he could somehow make it up…

"Yeah, we´ll see ´bout dat helpin´ thing, " Cid snorted derisively. "Was with four other shrinks so far an´ none o´ those quacks could do nuthin´, ´cept squeezin ma gawddamn hard earned cash outta me." The cig flared up in irritation as Cid took another deep drag, and forcefully pushed it out in the 'ashtray' and instantly summoned a new package.

"Maybe you could tell me first, what exactly the problem is we are dealing with here?" Any other man would have detected the slightly peeved look that accompanied the coolly spoken words, but Cid was, obviously, not 'anyone' and therefore he just lit his new cig, rather unimpressed, shaking out the match and flicking it into the vase.

"Ma prob?" he repeated, grey smoke crawling out of his mouth and nostrils. "I´m a friggin´ addict," he enlightened his therapist gruffly and was instantly back to sucking at his cancer stick.

"I see," Dr. Reud said non-committally, and wrote down on his paper 'nicotine-addict', before looking up at his client with a neutral expression again. "Could you please describe the course of the disease for me? I take it you have no medical record with you today?"

"Nah," Cid affirmed, blinking, before he shrugged and explained between repeated drags. "Don' need dat shit, I know what´s wrong wit' me a´right, don need no stupid paper ta tell me. What'd'you wanna know?"

"You could begin from where your addiction started, for instance, " the doctor remarked with a lifted brow, scribbling down 'probably analphabetic'.

"Yeah, ´kay… Where ta begin…" Cid scratched his unshaved, stubbled chin and lifted his hands behind his head, gracing his therapist with the attractive sight of two dark sweat stains under his armpits and burning his already abused couch with a brand new mark as the tip of his cig sank into the soft leather.

"Dunno, done it since I c'n remember… I mean ma mom diddit, ma dad, ma sis… We´d always have it t'gether at least three times a day, mornin, afternoon, evenin', right after breakfast, lunch an´dinner, ya know. Was maybe… don' wanna lie… hm… two maybe?" He frowned, leaning forward and holding his hands a few inches over the ground to indicate how tall he must have been then.

Dr. F. Reud stared at the man with big eyes, aghast, but then he cleared his throat, adjusted his glasses and said sympathetically,

"I see. Your childhood must have been difficult…" No parents that let their two-year-old child smoke cigarettes could be caring, responsible or even sane! This seemed like a classical case of overwhelmed, undereducated parenthood, probably mixed with drug abuse and neglect of the children. At least they must have managed to get three meals a day on the table, which didn't really compensate for the smoking of course.

Cid seemed to think otherwise though, because instantly he narrowed his eyes and flared up, brandishing with his cig through the smoke contaminated air,

"What'd'ya mean with 'at, huh?! Ma childhood´s been friggin fine, don' ya bloody dare badmouth ma mom an´ dad!!! Ya damn shrinks think ya know everythin´ but it ain´t their gawddamn fault I ended up this way, ya hear me?!" He pointed his burning stick at the therapist in an almost threatening manner, clearly insulted.

Although Dr. F. Reud highly doubted that the man´s childhood had been nearly as awesome as Cid claimed it to be, he didn´t argue. This maybe was a can of worms they could open later. Right now he wanted to focus on getting the picture, so he answered in a soothing tone,

"Of course, my apologies."

"Hrmph." Cid smashed his cig into the vase, a new one already dangling from his lips and crossed his arms over his chest in a dismissive manner.

"Please, could you tell me about the symptoms?" the therapist asked with a small, pleading smile to get back on the good side of his patient, while at the same time sneakily scribbling down 'suffers from high repression'.

The blond huffed some more, before he finally gave in and pulled the cause of his addiction out of his mouth, a bit maliciously blowing the smoke into his doctor´s direction.

"Can´t friggin be a minute without it, see?" He held up his hand, nodding at the visible trembling. "Can´t think ´bout anythin´ else all day. When I can´t have it, ma brain starts hurtin´, can´t concentrate an´ that's bad, cuz ya know I´m in th' rocket business. An´ pilotn´, ´m prolly th' friggin best pilot in all damn history! That´s Cid Highwind for ya." He motioned with his thumb at himself and bared his razor sharp, pearly teeth at the man in a proud grin, making the therapist unconsciously flinch away. To him the blond man looked more like a dangerous animal, a hyena maybe, than a renowned astronaut… And god help him should he ever step into the man´s plane, he´d rather just jump from a skyscraper right away with most certainly the very same effect!

Cid´s enthusiasm got a bit quelled by the alienated look he received, so he relaxed his facial stretching and continued, looking at the half full vase in slight melancholy,

"But I almost can´t do ma job right anymore… I love ma damn job more than anythin´-apart from _this_, ya know- I luv ta fly high in th' skies, but it ain´t easy with that problem o´mine. It ain´t safe, ya see. Need ta be concentratin' on it an´ not constantly thinkin´ ´bout ma problem or when I can have th' next one."

"I understand. Do you have any health problems because of this?"

"Nah, no probs," Cid denied, shaking his head before his frame was shaken by a sudden, violent coughing fit. He was leaning over the carpet, choking his lungs out to a point where the doctor got seriously worried and was about to stand up and run to the door to ask for help, but then the attack ceased.

"No probs," the blond repeated, panting, and then turned his head to spit a thick lump of snot into the vase. Doctor F. Reud was really glad that he didn´t have time for lunch and that his stomach was empty.

"… I see," was the expressionless comment. The word 'high' got cancelled and replaced by 'INSANE!!!'.

"What measures were taken so far to deal with it?" he then asked, frowning.

Cid shrugged again, summoning his next package. "Was with th' other shrinks an´ they couldn´t help me. Nuthin´ could so far. Hell, I even went ta one o´ those ridiculous group meetn's, ya know, where ya get this bloody nametag stuck ta yer chest an´ then it´s all 'Hi my name´s Harald, an´ I have a problem'- 'Hi Harry'." He gave a high-pitched imitation of the cliché procedure that was typical for these kinds of group therapies, but then his shoulders slumped and he continued, sighing.

"I was desperate, an´ still am. I´d do anythin´ ta get rid o´ it, ya know? Couldn´t help me at all though, they didn´t even understand ma problem! See, th' bad thing is that people don' even_ see _it´s a problem! It´s part o´ daily life, most people do it. There´re no warnings whatsoever ´bout th' dangers an´ how it can ruin ya life. They're jus' starin´ atcha as if yer bonkers when ya tell 'em, cus it ain´t like, dunno, alcoholism or heroin addiction. Ya don' even really have symptoms at all. An ya can buy it in every friggin store for almost nuthin! So, I didn´t tell ma friends, coz they´d only laugh at me er be disgusted… Ma wife knows though, couldn´t hide it from that damn nosy brat. It´s a secret, a damn hard one, I tell ya!"

Dr. F. Reud nodded his head in genuine sympathy and understanding. He himself was strictly abstinent, because he knew about the fatalism of cigarettes and sometimes he was wondering, how any remotely sane person could give in to that stupidity. But it was a fashion, a part of daily life and not really questioned…

Before he could say something to comfort the man though, the door opened and Martha entered with a tray of two steaming cups of tea that she left on the table, not deigning to spare the intruder a glance even when he hollered,

"´bout gawddamn time!"

The cig joined its dead comrades in the vase as Cid instead bestowed his attention to his tea cup, greedily slurping the hot liquid and then sitting back with a comfortable sigh. "But'cha see, once I'm over it, I'll write a book or sumthin´. Ta share ma experiences ta help others with the same problems, an´ ta finally name an´ shame that wretched, damn tea lobby! They ain´t as all mighty as they think, oh no! Haven´t met Cid _Highwind_ yet!"

"Well, this might be a good idea, it could help you to get it out of your system. There are a few options for therapy that are very successful and I am sure we can cure your addiction in no tim-" Dr. Reud halted in his encouraging speech and blinked. "Did you just say 'tea'?"

"Yeah, sure," Cid affirmed with a shrug, taking another sip with a blissful expression. "That´s what ´m talkin´ ´bout."

"What… we are talking about?" the therapist repeated blank-faced, holding his own cup frozen midway.

"My tea-addiction?" the blond 'reminded' a bit unnerved, and as if he was talking to an imbecile, before his eyes narrowed and he asked, suspicious, "What were _you_ talkin' about?"

"I-I…" Blinking, Dr. F. Reud tried to wrap his mind around this… unexpected development, and quickly set down his cup, spilling half the contents. "I was talking about the same thing of course, your… tea addiction…" he trailed off, blinking again at the mere thought of it, but then pulled himself together again when Cid relaxed and asked, new hope shining in his pale blue eyes,

"An´… ya really think ya c'n help me?"

"Of course," the therapist replied mechanically, frantically searching his mind (to see) if he had ever heard of such a ridiculous 'addiction', let alone about a way to _cure_ it!

"Great, thanks doc!" Deeply moved, the man suddenly pulled the poor therapist into a bone crushing bear hug, not able to hold on to himself after years of disappointed hopes and relapses.

"Don´t… It´s all right, it´s all right," Dr. Reud squeaked, gasping for air and thinking of his beloved tranquilizer gun, but the pilot had let go already, sneakily wiping a small tear out of his eye and sniffling a bit, before he went back to his hard he-man attitude. Tucking a new cig into the corner of his mouth, he gave the man a good slap on the shoulder.

"Ya ain´t as dumb as th' other shrinks, doc, I appreciate that. I´ll get´n appointment fer ma next session an´ we can work on ma therapy then. Can´t wait ta get started."

He cracked his knuckles, his impressive biceps flexing, and fished out his pack of cigarettes from under the stumps and ash that had fallen onto the table from the overflowing ashtray.

"Thanks," mumbled the psychologist quietly, guiding his new patient to the door.

"See ya soon then," Cid grunted with a last conspiratorial wink, and then he was out of the room.

"…I can´t wait." Thunderstruck the doctor stood by the door, staring into his empty waiting room and tried to estimate how long it would take him to move his office undercover.

.end

* * *

**Since I don´t have time and the motivation to write new chapters for this fic I declare it finished. Sorry guys. Maybe after the semester is done and the stress subsides a bit I´ll give it another try, but for now it´s done.**

**Thank you for your support and feedback!**

***waves***


End file.
